Why am I able to start some good habits and to make them stick, and others, that I THINK I want just as badly to succeed, I just can't seem to do it. Am I not as committed? Do I secretly not believe in those particular goals? Is a part of me just stubborn or lazy? Am I merely not properly motivated? I have been genuinely baffled about this phenomenon off and on for years.
To help me in my quest to "improve" myself, to create some new healthy habits, I've been listening once again to the book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. Now, I listened to this book once before and it did help me to start a few great habits that I'm still clinging to, years later (not sure how many years...I'd say at least 5). And YAY! I also found that I have the book on my Kindle app, so I can refer to stuff easier! I'm so excited about that...I was thinking I'd have to listen to the whole book AGAIN so I could take notes, but I can just skip to the parts I want....like....now!
Before I get to specifics about the "how" of developing my new habits, I want to explore some reasons I think a couple of my other habits were "easy" to get started and stick to, where others are so difficult at times to even start, much less stick to once I've started. Let's take two habits that I started some time in the last 5-20 years that have stuck and become automatic...or at least almost... (like they're supposed to), where I don't even have to think about them. They're just a part of my routine. One is flossing my teeth, and the other is reading my Bible every day.
Everyone has certain things that are very important to them, and a deep-seated dear wish/need for me is to draw ever nearer to my Creator. At one point, with a New Year's resolution, I made up my mind that one way to get closer to the mind of God would be to read His Word on a regular basis. To me it's like letting God in, letting Him talk to me daily. The part that could have been difficult was when to do it? When could I put it into my routine and have it stick? Well, this will sound silly but I found a habitual time of day when I literally wasn't doing anything productive...first thing in the morning, when I'm on the toilet. I know, I know....eeeeewwwwww. But stay with me here. (LOL, there's only one person who will read this, so I'm not too worried about grossing people out.)
I'm blessed (and cursed at times) with a very regular colon. Sometimes I can put it off for a while, even a few hours. But the vast majority of the time, within a half hour of getting up, I have GOT to go...no choice. And it's not a quick process. I live with a mate who can go in and be done within ten minutes! I am so envious of that ability. For various reasons, I am determined to only go once a day, so I must sit there and "get it all out", which takes 30-45 minutes. I've been this way for many years, so my mornings are regulated around it. Before I retired, I made sure I got up an hour and a half to two hours before I had to leave for work...plenty of time to sit a while, then shower and dress for work. So here's this time frame where it was easy to start a new habit and stick to it...and even like it (big reason for success in my book).
I calculated how much I needed to read each day to read through the whole Bible in a year. I read four chapters per day while in the Old Testament, then once I get to the New Testament I read two chapters per day. And I usually finish by the end of November, so I go back and re-read Psalms, because it is the most enjoyable and uplifting book for me personally. I've been able to read through the whole Bible at least 4 times (I've kind of lost count by now). And every year, I glean some new insight into various books, chapters, verses. I don't feel pressured to do anything more than read. I get deeper study in several ways with my church family, so I can just let God talk to me every morning. It's satisfying. It's rewarding. It starts my day off better than if I sat there and played a mindless phone game (which is another habit I DON'T want that I'm working to rid myself of). There are so many ways I criticize myself and my bad habits, my imperfections, but this is ONE way I can feel good about a choice and a habit.
I'll make the other one quicker! Quite a few years ago now, at least 15, I was visiting the dentist and had my regular cleaning and checkup. The dentist came in and talked to me very frankly. He said they were going to have to do a deep-scale cleaning, which would take two visits. Okaaaaay (very unpleasant experience if you don't know...deep-scale means below the gum line, painful with quite a bit of bleeding...a thing I never wanted to repeat, big motivation right there). Then he looked me in the eye and told me if I didn't start taking much better care of my teeth and gums, I was going to start losing teeth. Now THAT struck a deep chord in me, because I came from a generation that did NOT floss. My parents didn't do that, and my grandparents certainly didn't do it. But the kicker is that ALL my grandparents had dentures by the time I came along, and my mother took pretty good care of her teeth, but had lost several of her back teeth by the time I was grown. My dad died pretty young, 48, but he had already lost several teeth by then too. I knew just one thing....I DID NOT WANT TO WEAR DENTURES. I wanted to keep my own teeth for as long as possible. It was a huge motivation for me.
We moved and I started with a new dentist soon after that, and after a year, the new dentist told me I must be doing something right, because my gums looked 10 years younger. Hallelujah! That too made a huge impression on me. I felt so great about that. But still, flossing is an up and down habit, much harder to maintain, because I just can't seem to make myself do it daily...it's tedious and there's nothing fun or uplifting about it, except the satisfaction of having done it. My goal is to do it at least 3 times a week, and when I manage that my semi-annual cleanings go well and quickly, with very little bleeding. But since I retired, the dental habits have been more sporadic, and I'll admit it, lazier. My last visit was a reminder of my goal! More scraping, more bleeding, some gingivitis, according to the hygienist. Wake up call! This is the first visit in many years where the lady cleaning my teeth hasn't praised me for my good habits. That's IT, baby. Back to basics for me. But that means getting back to a good habit, which I thought I'd never have to start again. Never say never! But I'm determined to improve, have an easier cleaning, and get praised again!!
Okay, so now I've told about starting and keeping (or not) two good habits. We'll analyze how to accomplish that again. Next time....
No comments:
Post a Comment