Amazing Book Here

I finished another self improvement book, and I must say, it's a great book. I think I would give it 4.5 out of 5 stars (and the only reason I don't give it a 5 is a quibble really....it was not as "enjoyable" a read as some of the others I've read). But this book can change your life if you absorb it and let it work for you.

It's called The Slight Edge, by Jeff Olson. I'll bet there are a million people who have read this book, and I'll also bet that the top 5% of people who are very successful have ALL read it. It's a really good book. It really can change your life for the better.

But there is a catch. This book won't make you successful. It can help YOU make you successful, whatever "successful" means to you. It gives you the tools needed to feel happier, more connected to your life...more in charge of your own life, more productive, more satisfied with the direction your life is going.

It's not a "magic bullet". Making changes in life is a tough business, and there's no magic about it. It takes time....lots of time....to be the person you want to be, the person God wants you to be. But anybody can get there! That's the beauty of it.

And here's the big question Mr. Olson wants you to ask yourself, that really had an impact on me. "How do you want to feel about your life at the end of it?" He says that 95% of people die unfulfilled, frustrated, and dissatisfied with the way their life has played out. Only 5% of people, at the end of their lives, feel happy and satisfied with their life. Now, I have no way of knowing if that statistic is accurate, but I'm guessing that's probably pretty close to accurate. We all know lots of grumpy, dissatisfied people, who's lives are not going the way they want or were expecting it to go. Nobody PLANS on having a crummy life.

My feelings about my past are mixed, as I assume the majority of people feel. Would I change the choice to spend my life serving the Lord, trying to be closer to Him, trying to make it to heaven? Absolutely NOT!!! Would I change my choice of spouse or whether to have children (even after going through plenty of hard times?) NO WAY! But...would I make some different choices in my life knowing now what I didn't know then? Of course I would. Wouldn't we all? I especially would change the choices I have made concerning how I have spent my time.....I have WASTED so much time in my life, spent lots of time actually "escaping" into useless endeavors, and that is my biggest regret.

Here's the great news. I can stop looking at my past, fix my habits, and look POSITIVELY toward my future, any time I want....like right now! I can become so much happier with myself and the direction of my life immediately. And I did....by reading The Slight Edge and applying it in my life.

I've said this with each book so far, and I'll keep repeating it. Nothing can replace the Bible for learning what God wants for me, and teaching me HIS wisdom. But you know what? This book even helped me re-commit myself to that, on a daily basis! I decide my life's philosophy, and my attitudes toward everything. I decide how to spend my precious time and personal resources. The slight edge just gives me a place to start, and tools to help me head toward my goals, with little baby steps one day at a time.

There are lots of good books out there that will help a person make better choices, have a more postitive outlook, and do great things with his/her life. And I plan to keep reading more (10 pages a day at a time). This book is a great place to start.

Switch!

In my last post, I promised a review of a self-help book. Hmmm, well, I've made an executive decision to review a different book. The one I started, Split Second Choice, I haven't finished yet. The applications in it are mostly in business settings, which just didn't "speak" to me personally. I will probably finish that book at some point, because it is one of my compulsions. I hate leaving a book unfinished even if I don't like it; I keep thinking there might be something for me somewhere in it, and I am over halfway finished with that one.

At the moment, I have about six self improvement books from the library to read and review (and use for my own improvement of course, which is the whole point of this exercise). I will interject here that, as a Christian, I firmly believe everyone should make an effort to read the books of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes in the Bible at least once a year for practical wisdom on living life as a human trying to be godly (or at least a good and wise person, which most people want to be, even if they don't believe in an all-powerful Creator they are striving to please). Anyway, back to my review...

I have devoured a book in the last week, which DID speak to me in a profound way, Switch (How To Change Things When Change Is Hard), by Chip Heath & Dan Heath (brothers). Not only did I find the book very informative in understanding why (my) change is hard, and how to overcome problems and resistance, but the (true life) research examples were fascinating, and the writing was well done (which can be such a distraction for me if I'm constantly correcting things in my mind). I read all the way through first, planning to go back and outline and take notes for myself, but (hey! what do you know!) at the end was a nifty little page with an outline of all the stuff to remember AND a section on typical problems and resistance to changes and how to overcome them. So helpful! This is definitely one of those books I would gladly read more than once to glean all I can from the teaching.

A brief synopsis of the book is that each of us has an emotional side and a rational side in our brains. Their metaphor is an Elephant (emotional side --- great analogy, since our emotions are HUGE and hard to control!) and a Rider (rational side --- the thinker and planner). Both sides have strengths and weaknesses, and to make a change you have to learn how to direct the Rider and motivate the Elephant. The third piece to the change puzzle is the Path (environment and situation). You also have to shape the Path to make the change easier for the Rider and the Elephant.

The Heath brothers have given so much clear direction on these three components, with specific examples for each, that it's almost impossible to misunderstand or be fuzzy about how to achieve lasting change. The hard part, of course, is applying the principles to your own specific situation, but they try hard to make it as easy for you as possible, whether it be in a business setting, or your community (or nation!), or in a relationship, or the very personal habit you're trying to achieve (or break!).

Yes, I highly recommend this book to anyone who is struggling to make a change in their life. I'll update another time whether I am able to make application and succeed in developing my own better habits.

I Think I'm Beginning to "Get It"

In my search for productivity, self-fulfillment, joy and all that other good stuff I want to develop in my life, I have been setting goals. And I felt like they were good goals, and they are...as far as they go. But I'm starting to realize that my goal-setting skills themselves have been inadequate. They are specific goals in five distinct categories, but geared only toward the end of the year...end game. I haven't broken each goal down at all, so that I have something to strive for quarterly, monthly, weekly, daily. No wonder I've been floundering in the execution of these goals. (I would normally do some self-flagellation here, but I'm trying to stop that....I won't call myself an idiot, I'll just be happy that I figured out something new so early in the year and have lots of time to improve!) I have been waaaaay vague in my expectations, so I've been getting almost NOTHING accomplished. Time to change that!

Take, for example, my painting/drawing. This is my YEAR OF UNFINISHED BUSINESS, which I thought of because of all the started or at least thought-of projects that have been just hanging around on a list, and in my head, for a couple of years (well that, and the weight I planned on losing for seven years). So I was thinking about that the other day and decided to break that goal down into projects with projected timelines. Excluding the two or three things on the list that I no longer even want to pursue at the moment (hey, I can do that, it's my list), and separating the writing projects into their own category (because I want to try working on "art" and writing projects simultaneously, so to speak, that leaves 9 creative projects. And what do you know, 9 months in which to work through the list! I know that some projects will take much more time devoted to them than others (e.g. a drawing that I've already started that should reasonably take less than two weeks if I work on it a little daily and a children's book that I want to write that would have at least a dozen watercolors in it, each one taking at least a week to complete). You get the idea.

Anyway, I won't bore you with all the planning out that must be done, but I wanted to share my excitement at figuring out how to make some concrete and realistic goals (thanks, in part, to my friend and fellow "self-improver" Debbie, who graciously shared her Passion Planner with me...we may have to have several more of these discussions!). Now, to keep reading Split Second Choice so I can keep my excitement phase going!

I Have Found A Direction (at least temporarily)

I have been wanting to use this blog that I have had for SEVERAL years --- I'll bet most of you didn't know that; not surprising since I have been extremely sporadic in keeping up with it --- anyway, I've been wanting to use it THIS time to chronicle my journey from an apathetic, unmotivated, fat and tired life to an excited, motivated, healthy, joyful, productive and fulfilled life. Does that sound lofty? Improbable? Maybe. But I've been drifting along, depressed and apathetic for far too long. Listen to me, people. If you're not growing, improving, moving forward, then you are NOT sitting still, you are sliding back and down. That's the truth.

Now growing and improving is different for everyone. We all have different personalities, different goals, different abilities. And that's just fine, that's what makes the world so interesting! Some people want to be President (and we've seen the proof over and over that anyone can accomplish that!), some people want to be a best-selling author, or the best kindergarten teacher that ever lived. Many people don't want to be the best at anything, just a perfectly adequate version of themselves. And that's great too. But we all need to set goals and stretch and strive to attain them. That's part of being human. The Lord made us to be growing our whole lives, learning, experiencing, making the most of the one and only life he has given us. That's the way to be grateful for this life and to find your joy.

And the truth is, I've wasted much much time in my one and only life. I'm not trying to belittle my accomplishments, I'm being honest about the fact that I'm a time waster. I assume (perhaps wrongly, I don't know) that the majority of people out there are big time-wasters. I don't want to be part of that majority any more. No more just sitting, no more vegging out in front of one screen or other, shutting out the world and "escaping" from my own inadequacies (as I see them).

So here we are. And I had a bright idea. I'm seeking ways to improve my life, to improve my productivity (also studying to teach a short class in the fall on time management --- kills two birds --- I'm my own guinea pig!). One of the ways I'm doing that is to read several self-help books and a few blogs during the next five months. And you, my happy readers, will reap the benefit of these forays into the vast world of self-help. As I read each book, I will critique it right here, on my own little soap box! Doesn't that sound like fun? I knew you'd be thrilled. I know I am, just to be having bright ideas again --- thank you Lord, for that.

The first book I'm reading is Split Second Choice - The Power of Attitude, by Jim Winner (his real name). Yes, attitude really is everything...that's why I'm working to improve mine. I'll let you know how this one goes. If you've read it before, no spoilers please!

Today IS a Good Day

Things have not been going according to plan this year and yet, strangely, I feel determined and hopeful today. My unfinished business list is still there, just waiting for me to get busy on another item (the glory of having freshly painted walls has faded somewhat, time for a new challenge, one that I actually do myself this time...LOL).

My BIG goal that has taken up most of my concentration, dedication, and time, the thing that is constantly on my mind ---- getting healthy again, by eating great and exercising ---- has been hijacked partially by a very painful undiagnosed knee injury. But let me tell you about the new thing that's helping me with the healthy eating first.

My daughter came up with a very interesting calendar idea for keeping track of my (our) eating habits. You know, almost everyone who is successful in changing bad habits to good, whatever habit you want to change, has little tricks to help them form the new habit....a reward system (done that), journalling (when it comes to food I absolutely HATE having to write down every bite I put in my mouth, and I've tried it for several months, more than once, ick), joining some support group (yes, I've done that and paid good money to have complete strangers harass me AND cheer me on). For me, there is something immensely satisfying about coloring in little squares on a calendar. Don't ask me why, I have no idea, but it's working for me so far.

It's very simple (simple is always a winner with me). Using the healthy eating plan that my daughter is using for herself, basically paleo, we're using a color theme.

Green =  Eat healthy all day with no "cheats"
Yellow = Eat healthy, with just one "cheat" item that day
Red =     Eat mostly healthy, with only two "cheat" items that day
Black =  Three or more "cheat" items in a day

Naturally, we want the month to look mostly green and yellow, with only one or two red days scattered throughout -- NO black days (those are reserved for a major holiday) If we can accomplish two or three green days in a row, we allow ourselves a "cheat meal" where there might be two items at the same meal, and it's still a yellow day. NO cheat DAYS. That would be black! The thing that has helped me so much is seeing day to day how much I was cheating before and thinking that was okay, then wondering why I wasn't seeing it on the scales. I'm thrilled to report that I'm feeling much less puffy, have stopped having frequent heartburn (which helps my sleep!), and I've lost about 4 pounds --- without being able to be active at all!
I don't feel deprived (mostly), and I'm feeling like I'm accomplishing something good for myself.

I've been praying a lot about my attitude, and that the Lord would help me with my strength and determination. I prayed about my knee! I saw a doctor today --- long story short, he gave my knee a cortisone shot which has a good probability of helping to resume normal activity within a week! Yippee skippee!

Yep, feeling pretty good today.

Share Your Secret With Me Please

Okay, I'm baffled here. I honestly want to know your secret. You people who spring from your bed, (I'll give you a minor pass in the dead of winter --- it's tough for anyone that's snuggled nicely under the covers to be excited to get up in a cold room) joyously excited to begin another day. I know you're out there. I just don't know how you do it.

Don't get me wrong, I am a morning person. I have the most energy, think the clearest and get the most accomplished before one or two o'clock. I fade quickly after that. I'm even the most cheerful in the morning. It's just that it is SOOOOO HARD to make myself get up, to drag my carcass out of that bed. And of course it's even harder in the winter. AND I usually have to get up while it is still dark, and go to work in the dark, so it feels like it's still night time.

Oh yes, I can manage it easier when there's something really fun brewing, like a vacation. I can even push harder when there's lots to do and I'm expecting company that day. But on regular days, especially work days, how can I convince myself to stop pressing that snooze button and get up? I WANT to spring joyously out of bed and be excited for a new day, I really do. But so far, I haven't found a way to feel that.

Help!

IT'S TIME FOR A REALITY CHECK

I was talking with my daughter this morning (messaging --- we live all the way across the country from each other), and through that discussion, and a timely chat with my doctor coincidentally, I had a minor epiphany. I'll add here that I have had a couple of MAJOR epiphanies in the past ten years, but this one ranks up there pretty high, as far as minor ones go. Almost a major one, but not quite. Anyhooo....

It gradually hit me like a ton of bricks that I'm really not as young as I used to be. "Do tell?" you're probably thinking. "What are you, an idiot? You're pushing 60." Yes, I know I'm getting there. My aches and pains and minor maladies remind me on a daily basis. It's hard to put into words how I've been rationalizing my less-than-healthy lifestyle and habits. It's like my subconscious has stubbornly refused to believe that my body, muscle mass, metabolism, etc. is any different than it was 20 years ago, when menopause was still distant on the horizon and my inner workings were in top-notch condition, chugging away nicely. And it's not like I didn't see it coming. I remember writing in my journal (an on-again-off-again undertaking), while I was in my 40's, that if I didn't get the extra weight off before menopause, it was going to be twice as hard after.

Well, here I am folks. Post-menopausal, "cancer survivor" ---- so far, thank the Lord. It takes 5 years before they'll say you're really cancer-free, and it's been less than a year for me ---- and obese (with high cholesterol and borderline blood pressure). Yes, I can say that. 50 pounds or more and you are declared obese, it said so right on my cancer diagnosis. I got a good look at myself in a full length mirror today at the doctor's office, and it's been quite a while....QUITE a while. I look like Porky Pig. I'm not being unreasonably harsh with myself, I'm being honest. I am fat (remind me to share a brief encounter with a woman at work who was insistent that I am not fat .... that is really not helpful, lady).

Okay, I own it. Up front and in my face with it. Forget all the stuff I've been spouting about eating healthy and being motivated to exercise and wanting to get healthy. It's time to get real. To actually SEE the problem, accept it, and do something about it. It's time to get busy. I can do that.

Flagellation (and rant) Over --- Time for Action

I'm feeling better today. More my regular self today. And I've decided to give a common anti-procrastination trick a try. I've read in several self-growth places (books, magazine articles, websites and such) that you can begin a habit small and build from there. One source said you can start with just two minutes. That's all, just two minutes a day on a habit you want to develop. The key is to stick to it and do it every single day, just for two minutes. Another popular website says 15 minutes. If you hate doing something or at least keep putting it off, set your timer for 15 minutes and do that thing for 15 minutes every day until you have caught up on that chore. Eventually you do finish that "thing", just 15 minutes at a time.

I've always kind of just said, "Yeah, yeah" to this little trick, but I'm starting to see the value of tackling a tiny chunk of whatever Mt. Everest has me frozen into inactivity (this is a common occurrence with me). I may not be a world champion procrastinator, but with a few particular chores I can hang with the best of 'em. I actually procrastinate doing some of the things I profess to love doing, out of some kind of fear (failure? success? Who knows....who cares). The point is I fiercely want to be productive. I want to feel successful in my own life. I don't ask for that much. I don't care about being famous or rich (although having people see my art or read my novels and enjoy them would be very gratifying, even on a small scale). I just want to be productive and creative, enjoy serving my family, be more satisfied with myself, feel like I'm growing in the directions I choose.

So, with that in mind, part of this year's goals is about growing in focus and self control....big issues with me. Yesterday, I set the timer for 15 minutes 3 times to get a little bit done on the three things I really want to accomplish in my home on a daily basis: cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, and basic straightening (2 minutes just doesn't seem like enough to feel like anything is accomplished). And I was able to get some of each done. Not caught up, but some work on each. I will do this every day for a week, and let you know how it's going.

Self Flagellation

How do I talk about this without sounding totally whiny? Sometimes (okay, a little more than sometimes), I really don't like me. My self-talk is usually negative (my mother's voice, as I've mentioned before), and everyone else seems to have a better handle on life, on productivity, on self control than I do (yes, I know I see the brightest happiest most productive faces on social media --- it works, I feel inadequate). I get so frustrated with myself and my lack of focus and self control.

Today is one of those one-step-forward-two-steps-back kind of a day. One of those days where I feel completely inept, incompetent, unintelligent, un-creative, procrastinating (I KNOW that one is true), unfocused, un- un- un- (add in fat and lazy, just for good measure).

I set goals, I make lists, I make a schedule (sort of), then totally disappoint myself when I can't stick to my super-aggressively-hopelessly-intimidatingly huge amount of goals. Okay, yes, I know I'm too hard on myself. And tomorrow I will probably rededicate myself to my goals, and pump myself up again. I'll read my goals and my ways to achieve them, I'll make a list, I'll try a new productivity technique, and I'll climb back up on that horse.

But for today, I'm bucked off and the horse is stomping on me while he whinnies gleefully. Today I hate that horse.

Unfinished business --- something now finished!

I can cross an item off my unfinished projects list for 2017 (you know, the Year of Unfinished Business, Part II). To be honest I didn't actually finish this project myself, but I don't feel bad about that even one teensy bit. Because it was painting my living room, and I really don't like to paint rooms.....watercolors yes, room painting NO. I will still consider it done, and I'm so grateful to my painter son for doing it for me. Um, it WAS because work is slow this winter for the contractor he works for, but I'll take it! He did a very nice job too. Can you see the two tone effect I chose? I love it! I haven't put anything back on the walls yet, but no biggie. Yay, a project done!

First Unfinished Business.....Now Finished

Yes! I am on my way, folks. I finished my first project that had been looming for months. And it turned out.....okay. I didn't like it (a watercolor), but since I painted for someone else, and since I am a "person of action" and therefore courageous, I gave it to the person anyway (she liked it just fine---whew). Anyway, it felt great to complete something, good enough to keep it up for another project. Now all these other projects start clambering for my attention and there are so many, it's hard to choose.....hmmm. I know, I know, just pick one. I think I shall. Go me! Here's the proof of my finished product (it looks better in a photo, by the way, than in real life).

I....AM....UNFINISHED

Yeah, I know, we all are. We never "arrive" completely, do we? How utterly boring life would be if there were no more challenges, no more good things to strive for? But occasionally it would be really nice if I could say to myself, "Okay! I totally nailed that one! Now I don't have to struggle with THAT any more...on to the next challenge!" But, hey, that NEVER happens. I can't think of one thing I have completely and forever conquered that I can ignore and never think of, ever again. Punctuality? Nope, not that one. Oh yeah, I have improved over the years, but I continually struggle to be on time almost daily. Organization? Weeelllll, again, better than I used to be, but my head....my life....my home....continue to verge on utter chaos (and the chaos drives me INSANE, but it still creeps in constantly). Just not my strong suit. Sticking to a schedule. Sigh. I fear that one is a lost cause, but I never completely give up. Somehow, I keep hoping that one day I will awaken and be a robot or something and able to leap whole lists in a single check mark! (Okay, mixed metaphors....so shoot me.) My weight? Puh-lease....don't EVEN get me started....

You get the idea. I really do have a whole laundry list of traits I would love to develop or acquire, and bad habits I would appreciate being rid of. I accept myself the way I am much better than I used to. Years ago, I honestly just wanted to become a completely different person (my sister).....and had endless frustration because it was never going to happen, no matter how badly I wanted it. But still....I have an artist's spirit and brain, with an accountant's love of orderliness. It's just that the artist is very dominant and seems to live for chaos and mess (or doesn't care ENOUGH about my other half to accommodate it). I still make lists, and I can accomplish the items on that list if I REALLY focus on it (like a big party or other occasion coming up, where I absolutely MUST get everything done on time)...but the down side to that is, that much effort and focus makes me very cranky and impatient (just ask my family). I still make schedules, even though deep in my heart I know that the effort is practically useless and I will never stick to a schedule for more than a few days at the most. It's like......my very BEING rebels at the thought of being restricted like that. It's hard to explain.

But the new year is my very favorite time. It's like a clean slate, just waiting to be filled with lovely things, and I have (Lord willing) a WHOLE YEAR to accomplish ideas and goals. Yes, I admit that I'm not always good at actually DOING the things I plan, but the planning is exciting and fulfilling, and MOST years I can check off several of the goals by the end of the year. And there have been a few wonderful years, where I accomplished quite a lot. Those years I feel so GREAT at the end of the twelve months....and that feeling is what keeps me trying, keeps me planning and scheming and trying new things. And this year is no exception. I have high hopes for 2019. My year of "Health and Home".

2015: My Year of Unfinished Business

Here I am again, you just never know when I'm going to pop up....or return.... I have begun a new year with new goals, admittedly ambitious goals, for every area of my life (which I love to do). Eating or not eating, exercising or not exercising, obsessing about my body and how disappointed I get in myself....all that stuff is not all there is to life or to me. I may be a post-menopausal fat woman, but that's not ALL I am. Not even close. Sometimes my focus becomes so narrow on one thing that I can't "see the forest for the trees". I'm not a very good multi-tasker, or even a very good stick-to-anything-er. But when I get started on that old broken record putting myself down for my shortcomings (and we all have those, right?), I am working on reminding myself of the things that I do well, and the things I have stuck with for a long time, like my 32-year marriage and my discipleship of Jesus, my devotion to the Father, my study of His Word.

Just how do I plan to accomplish these goals, you ask? Thanks, I'm glad you brought that up. I plan to do several things to keep myself focused on my goals and stay on track this year. I'm going to read my goals on a daily basis, I'm going to keep reading and applying the "decisions for success" from the book, The Travelers Gift, by Andy Andrews...which is a really good book by the way, one which I highly recommend if you're wanting something concrete to work on in your life (I am using Bible passages to back up the principles and read those daily also). I am reading my specific goals several times a week to remind me what I am working toward, and I am going to be here, talking to you about my goals and dreams and update how I'm doing on my quest to finish all this unfinished business in my life.....and there is LOTS of unfinished business in my life. I will elucidate further another day. For now, just know that I'm back, I'm starting to blog again, if you're interested, and I plan to be here consistently at least for 2015. Talk to me.