Tuesday, January 20, 2015

First Unfinished Business.....Now Finished

Yes! I am on my way, folks. I finished my first project that had been looming for months. And it turned out.....okay. I didn't like it (a watercolor), but since I painted for someone else, and since I am a "person of action" and therefore courageous, I gave it to the person anyway (she liked it just fine---whew). Anyway, it felt great to complete something, good enough to keep it up for another project. Now all these other projects start clambering for my attention and there are so many, it's hard to choose.....hmmm. I know, I know, just pick one. I think I shall. Go me! Here's the proof of my finished product (it looks better in a photo, by the way, than in real life).


Wednesday, January 14, 2015

I....AM....UNFINISHED

Yeah, I know, we all are. We never "arrive" completely, do we? How utterly boring life would be if there were no more challenges, no more good things to strive for? But occasionally it would be really nice if I could say to myself, "Okay! I totally nailed that one! Now I don't have to struggle with THAT any more...on to the next challenge!" But, hey, that NEVER happens. I can't think of one thing I have completely and forever conquered that I can ignore and never think of, ever again. Punctuality? Nope, not that one. Oh yeah, I have improved over the years, but I continually struggle to be on time almost daily. Organization? Weeelllll, again, better than I used to be, but my head....my life....my home....continue to verge on utter chaos (and the chaos drives me INSANE, but it still creeps in constantly). Just not my strong suit. Sticking to a schedule. Sigh. I fear that one is a lost cause, but I never completely give up. Somehow, I keep hoping that one day I will awaken and be a robot or something and able to leap whole lists in a single check mark! (Okay, mixed metaphors....so shoot me.) My weight? Puh-lease....don't EVEN get me started....

You get the idea. I really do have a whole laundry list of traits I would love to develop or acquire, and bad habits I would appreciate being rid of. I accept myself the way I am much better than I used to. Years ago, I honestly just wanted to become a completely different person (my sister).....and had endless frustration because it was never going to happen, no matter how badly I wanted it. But still....I have an artist's spirit and brain, with an accountant's love of orderliness. It's just that the artist is very dominant and seems to live for chaos and mess (or doesn't care ENOUGH about my other half to accommodate it). I still make lists, and I can accomplish the items on that list if I REALLY focus on it (like a big party or other occasion coming up, where I absolutely MUST get everything done on time)...but the down side to that is, that much effort and focus makes me very cranky and impatient (just ask my family). I still make schedules, even though deep in my heart I know that the effort is practically useless and I will never stick to a schedule for more than a few days at the most. It's like......my very BEING rebels at the thought of being restricted like that. It's hard to explain.

But the new year is my very favorite time. It's like a clean slate, just waiting to be filled with lovely things, and I have (Lord willing) a WHOLE YEAR to accomplish ideas and goals. Yes, I admit that I'm not always good at actually DOING the things I plan, but the planning is exciting and fulfilling, and MOST years I can check off several of the goals by the end of the year. And there have been a few wonderful years, where I accomplished quite a lot. Those years I feel so GREAT at the end of the twelve months....and that feeling is what keeps me trying, keeps me planning and scheming and trying new things. And this year is no exception. I have high hopes for 2019. My year of "Health and Home".

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

2015: My Year of Unfinished Business

Here I am again, you just never know when I'm going to pop up....or return.... I have begun a new year with new goals, admittedly ambitious goals, for every area of my life (which I love to do). Eating or not eating, exercising or not exercising, obsessing about my body and how disappointed I get in myself....all that stuff is not all there is to life or to me. I may be a post-menopausal fat woman, but that's not ALL I am. Not even close. Sometimes my focus becomes so narrow on one thing that I can't "see the forest for the trees". I'm not a very good multi-tasker, or even a very good stick-to-anything-er. But when I get started on that old broken record putting myself down for my shortcomings (and we all have those, right?), I am working on reminding myself of the things that I do well, and the things I have stuck with for a long time, like my 32-year marriage and my discipleship of Jesus, my devotion to the Father, my study of His Word.

Just how do I plan to accomplish these goals, you ask? Thanks, I'm glad you brought that up. I plan to do several things to keep myself focused on my goals and stay on track this year. I'm going to read my goals on a daily basis, I'm going to keep reading and applying the "decisions for success" from the book, The Travelers Gift, by Andy Andrews...which is a really good book by the way, one which I highly recommend if you're wanting something concrete to work on in your life (I am using Bible passages to back up the principles and read those daily also). I am reading my specific goals several times a week to remind me what I am working toward, and I am going to be here, talking to you about my goals and dreams and update how I'm doing on my quest to finish all this unfinished business in my life.....and there is LOTS of unfinished business in my life. I will elucidate further another day. For now, just know that I'm back, I'm starting to blog again, if you're interested, and I plan to be here consistently at least for 2015. Talk to me.