Monday, May 29, 2017

Annie --- Part LIX

I had my 58th birthday yesterday, and I must say it didn't feel too bad. My family spoiled me just like they know I love for them to do, I got something I've been asking for, and a couple of nice surprises too. AND I received well wishes from many friends and family, at church, at work, and across the nation. I feel loved. What more can you ask?

But besides all the brouhaha (that I absolutely love, don't get me wrong), it felt good for another reason. There have been many birthdays, especially since #40, where I have been like, "AAAAAACK! Another year! I've wasted ANOTHER YEAR! I need to get busy!!!" Yes, I scream and panic in my head just like that. But not this year. This milestone's arrival felt just fine, because I know in my head and heart that I'm trying. I'm trying to grow spiritually, mentally, artistically, physically, financially, lovingly, faithfully, and all the other positive "-ly's" that you can think of. I'm working hard to become the person that I really want to finish my life being (and I constantly stop myself when I start feeling guilty and regretful for so much wasted time and mental energy, avoiding being better....it's so pointless....today is my gift, I intend to use it like I'm grateful for it).

As I've already mentioned, It's tough, this "becoming." But as all the books and articles I've read so far keep reiterating, it's the journey not just the destination. Enjoy the journey. I'm really trying to learn to enjoy the journey, embrace the work, and NOT FEAR the failures, the defeats, the temporary setbacks that come with all growth. I want to appreciate those challenges. I'm not perfect, I'll never be perfect. But the Lord says I can be complete, equipped for all good works. That's the target. That's where I'm aiming. Will I know it when I get there? Ha! Probably not, knowing me. But that's okay too. The journey will keep me very busy and satisfied.

Today I feel satisfied with my life.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Change Is So Hard

"I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden." Anybody out there remember this song by Lynn Anderson, 1970? Sometimes when I get whiny with myself (this happens far more often than I would like to admit), I think of that song.

Change is hard. Yes, surprise surprise! Aspiring to reach goals, trying to do something with myself, replacing bad habits with good ones, these things are amazingly difficult. And yet, sometimes amazingly simple. IF you keep your focus on them, keep your "eye on the ball" as I've been hearing a lot since it's baseball season.

I let my focus waver the last couple of days, after having a very good first week of May. You think you're going along nicely, and then BAM! All of a sudden it's been two or three days and you've let slide those great habits you're trying so hard to ingrain.

But something good IS happening. My brain is starting to change, just a little at a time. Since it's been thinking in a different way, firing on cylinders that had grown somewhat rusty, the habits are starting to change. Take last night for example. Even though I've only been trying to use my time differently for about 10 days, and I haven't tried to completely cut wasting a little of that time on games out of my life, when I had the chance to play on my tablet last night before bed I wasn't really interested. Now, there's another little voice in my head telling me, "You could work an interesting puzzle instead or send a nice email to a friend." OR "You haven't read your 10 pages today, why don't you do that?" And yesterday on my lunch hour at work, I did play one of my favorite games on Facebook, but afterward I definitely felt unsatisfied. I could have been enjoying a good book.

These little daily disciplines are already starting to pay off. Yes, I'm kind of amazed. But again, it is SO easy to get distracted by....well.....almost anything. I do think I understand the extreme importance of reading my goals written in my own hand every day, to keep a journal chronicling my efforts (even if it's just for ten minutes a day), to think about the good things I want to accomplish for myself and my loved ones, to pray about it and tell the Lord my thoughts and feelings and ask Him to direct me, and to talk about it to people who are rooting for me and willing to listen to my rants and crows.

Nobody ever said change was easy. Nobody with sustained personal success of any kind will tell you that it happened overnight. Change is hard, and finding fulfillment in your life takes time. Lots and lots of time. Patience is one of those virtues with which I have not been "naturally" blessed. I have always battled my impatient nature (and today's fast-paced-give-it-to-me-NOW society doesn't help!). The fight to patiently work and wait for my personal success is worth it.

Monday, May 1, 2017

Amazing Book Here

I finished another self improvement book, and I must say, it's a great book. I think I would give it 4.5 out of 5 stars (and the only reason I don't give it a 5 is a quibble really....it was not as "enjoyable" a read as some of the others I've read). But this book can change your life if you absorb it and let it work for you.

It's called The Slight Edge, by Jeff Olson. I'll bet there are a million people who have read this book, and I'll also bet that the top 5% of people who are very successful have ALL read it. It's a really good book. It really can change your life for the better.

But there is a catch. This book won't make you successful. It can help YOU make you successful, whatever "successful" means to you. It gives you the tools needed to feel happier, more connected to your life...more in charge of your own life, more productive, more satisfied with the direction your life is going.

It's not a "magic bullet". Making changes in life is a tough business, and there's no magic about it. It takes time....lots of time....to be the person you want to be, the person God wants you to be. But anybody can get there! That's the beauty of it.

And here's the big question Mr. Olson wants you to ask yourself, that really had an impact on me. "How do you want to feel about your life at the end of it?" He says that 95% of people die unfulfilled, frustrated, and dissatisfied with the way their life has played out. Only 5% of people, at the end of their lives, feel happy and satisfied with their life. Now, I have no way of knowing if that statistic is accurate, but I'm guessing that's probably pretty close to accurate. We all know lots of grumpy, dissatisfied people, who's lives are not going the way they want or were expecting it to go. Nobody PLANS on having a crummy life.

My feelings about my past are mixed, as I assume the majority of people feel. Would I change the choice to spend my life serving the Lord, trying to be closer to Him, trying to make it to heaven? Absolutely NOT!!! Would I change my choice of spouse or whether to have children (even after going through plenty of hard times?) NO WAY! But...would I make some different choices in my life knowing now what I didn't know then? Of course I would. Wouldn't we all? I especially would change the choices I have made concerning how I have spent my time.....I have WASTED so much time in my life, spent lots of time actually "escaping" into useless endeavors, and that is my biggest regret.

Here's the great news. I can stop looking at my past, fix my habits, and look POSITIVELY toward my future, any time I want....like right now! I can become so much happier with myself and the direction of my life immediately. And I did....by reading The Slight Edge and applying it in my life.

I've said this with each book so far, and I'll keep repeating it. Nothing can replace the Bible for learning what God wants for me, and teaching me HIS wisdom. But you know what? This book even helped me re-commit myself to that, on a daily basis! I decide my life's philosophy, and my attitudes toward everything. I decide how to spend my precious time and personal resources. The slight edge just gives me a place to start, and tools to help me head toward my goals, with little baby steps one day at a time.

There are lots of good books out there that will help a person make better choices, have a more postitive outlook, and do great things with his/her life. And I plan to keep reading more (10 pages a day at a time). This book is a great place to start.