Monday, May 29, 2017

Annie --- Part LIX

I had my 58th birthday yesterday, and I must say it didn't feel too bad. My family spoiled me just like they know I love for them to do, I got something I've been asking for, and a couple of nice surprises too. AND I received well wishes from many friends and family, at church, at work, and across the nation. I feel loved. What more can you ask?

But besides all the brouhaha (that I absolutely love, don't get me wrong), it felt good for another reason. There have been many birthdays, especially since #40, where I have been like, "AAAAAACK! Another year! I've wasted ANOTHER YEAR! I need to get busy!!!" Yes, I scream and panic in my head just like that. But not this year. This milestone's arrival felt just fine, because I know in my head and heart that I'm trying. I'm trying to grow spiritually, mentally, artistically, physically, financially, lovingly, faithfully, and all the other positive "-ly's" that you can think of. I'm working hard to become the person that I really want to finish my life being (and I constantly stop myself when I start feeling guilty and regretful for so much wasted time and mental energy, avoiding being better....it's so pointless....today is my gift, I intend to use it like I'm grateful for it).

As I've already mentioned, It's tough, this "becoming." But as all the books and articles I've read so far keep reiterating, it's the journey not just the destination. Enjoy the journey. I'm really trying to learn to enjoy the journey, embrace the work, and NOT FEAR the failures, the defeats, the temporary setbacks that come with all growth. I want to appreciate those challenges. I'm not perfect, I'll never be perfect. But the Lord says I can be complete, equipped for all good works. That's the target. That's where I'm aiming. Will I know it when I get there? Ha! Probably not, knowing me. But that's okay too. The journey will keep me very busy and satisfied.

Today I feel satisfied with my life.

No comments:

Post a Comment