How do I talk about this without sounding totally whiny? Sometimes (okay, a little more than sometimes), I really don't like me. My self-talk is usually negative (my mother's voice, as I've mentioned before), and everyone else seems to have a better handle on life, on productivity, on self control than I do (yes, I know I see the brightest happiest most productive faces on social media --- it works, I feel inadequate). I get so frustrated with myself and my lack of focus and self control.
Today is one of those one-step-forward-two-steps-back kind of a day. One of those days where I feel completely inept, incompetent, unintelligent, un-creative, procrastinating (I KNOW that one is true), unfocused, un- un- un- (add in fat and lazy, just for good measure).
I set goals, I make lists, I make a schedule (sort of), then totally disappoint myself when I can't stick to my super-aggressively-hopelessly-intimidatingly huge amount of goals. Okay, yes, I know I'm too hard on myself. And tomorrow I will probably rededicate myself to my goals, and pump myself up again. I'll read my goals and my ways to achieve them, I'll make a list, I'll try a new productivity technique, and I'll climb back up on that horse.
But for today, I'm bucked off and the horse is stomping on me while he whinnies gleefully. Today I hate that horse.
I'm usually a list maker too. But lately I've found if I stick to ONE thing I need to accomplish that day I can usually get that done. Then I feel good.
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