Retail Manners #4

Get off the phone. Please. Although most people stay off the phone while checking out, it is becoming more and more commonplace, especially with the under-forties. It's not just that it's incredibly rude to be talking on the phone when you're checking out with the cashier. The phone CAN wait five minutes, unless someone is dying, in which case, what are you doing still in line? Also, I am a human and I try hard to be efficient and perfect, but I do make mistakes. Stuff does ring up the wrong amount sometimes. I might miss a discount sticker or a coupon attached to a product. You need to be paying attention to what I'm doing. This is your stuff and your money we're dealing with. What if I short you on your change? Be in the moment with me, okay?

Retail Manners #3

Don't treat the cashier like your own personal slave. Yes, cashiers are in customer service. And yes, we are there to serve you...we get paid that handsome salary to do so. But you can treat us with respect, like putting a "please" with your requests, so it doesn't sound quite so much like a demand. You don't have to toss things at us, or snatch your money out of our hands, or roll your eyes if we're not quite as fast as you "need" us to be (this includes heaving a big sigh when there is a hold-up....usually it's not our fault, just stuff that happens, and if it is, hey! we're only human and make the occasional mistake.

Retail Manners #2

Converse with the cashier in a nice way. I think people don't realize how rude they come across sometimes, how terse. Really, is it that hard to say, "No, thank you," instead of just a curt "No?" Or at least a "no" with a smile? "Would you like the extended warranty with that?" "No thank you." Is that so hard? Along the same lines, please don't vent your frustration over the long lines (or whatever you feel the need to gripe about....dirty store, screaming children, something missing that you wanted to buy, etc) to the cashier...there is really nothing we can do about it, and MOST of us are doing the very best we can to speed things along and get you out of there as quickly and efficiently as possible. If you do have a legitimate gripe, and urgently need to convey it to someone, ask to speak to a customer service manager....that's their job to listen to grievances and try to fix problems. Don't take it out on the poor cashier, who can only do his/her job (and I can assure you, knows absolutely nothing about that fancy mustard that always seems to be out).

Retail Manners #1

Look your cashier in the eye, smile, and say hello. I know this seems like an obvious one, and that's assuming that your cashier is trying to make eye contact with you (I know, I know, there are a lot of unfriendly cashiers out there....but remember this is about you, you can't control another person's actions or attitudes, just yours. Good manners come from a genuine desire to be nice to people, no matter how they act toward you. You might totally make that cashier's day). I know as a cashier myself, I try to make eye contact, smile, and say hello to every single customer that comes through my line. I am also supposed to say, "Welcome to ---------" and "Did you find everything okay today?" and "Do you have any coupons to use today?" But you know, if I smile and say hello, I figure I can be forgiven if I forget the other stuff sometimes....

Let's talk!

I haven't posted in a while.....again. I want to blog, I love to write and I like to talk about stuff, but you know, I don't particularly want to talk about me much, about what's going on with me. It's not that interesting, and I either sound whiny or boasting. But I have come up with something that I DO want to talk about.....good manners. "Oh brother," you might say to yourself, "who cares about that." Well, if you don't care about manners, then from what I've seen lately at my job, as a cashier with a VERY large worldwide discount store which shall remain nameless, you're not alone. It seems that manners are passe', people are definitely not teaching them to their kids, that's for sure. Now I have to insert here that I live in a very conservative, religion-concentrated city, and there are a lot of nice, friendly, polite people here....it's one of the reasons that I love living where I live, one of the reasons we chose this area. So if there are lots of rude, ill-mannered people here, I make the assumption that there are plenty of places where it's worse, much worse.

I have read different books and articles on good manners, and in this blog I will occasionally, maybe even often, quote other sources. But I will start today with my own feelings about good manners, after all, it is my blog. From my observations, true good manners come from a person's genuine desire to make others feel comfortable, at ease, and to show respect. Manners flow from kindness and goodwill toward people in general (and it used to be taught to all children at home and in school, along with other ancient relics, like good morals from Bible stories). Now, being polite (again, to me) is a different matter. Our society pretty much demands politeness from its citizens, at least in public settings, if they want to live and function within the society. You can be perfectly polite and still drip your contempt for another person. But if you're using good manners, you at least make the attempt to hide your ill-will, and slap a smile on your face and be nice. Personally, I prefer good manners.

Whether you agree with my definitions or not, it's a fact that society was just a nicer place when people used good manners more often. Yes, it can get a little ridiculous if taken too far, but isn't everything like that? So, I'm going to give a little free advice on my blog. Oh, I'll probably address other bees in my bonnet, but several times a week, I'm going to be giving manners lessons....short little tidbits about treating others nicely and with respect and dignity. I'll probably be stepping on some toes....including mine.

How do I fix my head?

My brain is a mess, I mean truly a chaotic mess. I have realized a few things about myself. I am constantly trying to keep ahead of my household mess, because it represents what goes on in my head constantly. I often wonder if i have ADD, because I have witnessed it in some people close to me, and I see the same patterns of behavior in myself. I am constantly frustrated at the lack of organization in my home, because it feels like that just shows exactly how my brain functions....if I could just organize my house and make it "perfectly orderly", then I could do the same thing with my own thoughts. Making lists helps somewhat, but I forget to make the lists, and I forget to check them. Keeping a journal helps somewhat, but I forget to write in it, I forget I even have one. The chaos in my head really gets to me. Then I have short periods of clarity, where I try to set some goals, I try to "regiment" myself somewhat, I make lists, I set goals, I make a schedule for my daily activities....then I spend the next several days completely depressed because a large part of me doesn't WANT to be organized, doesn't WANT to be scheduled, doesn't WANT to have to work that hard to make my life work. Then I completely forget that I have these lists and goals and schedules and I have to remind myself all over again what I want and why. I forget to pray, I forget to read, I forget to paint, to write, to do all those things that really do help and make me feel better.

Oh, it's not all bad. My daily habits are somewhat better than they used to be when I was younger, and I am definitely more efficient in my work. I am able to stay on task better, and I am a lot faster at doing chores than I was 30 years ago....when I absolutely have to accomplish something on a deadline, I am able to organize my time and get most of what I need to get done, done. I am better about just doing what I can and letting the rest go, and not hating myself too much because I'm not totally successful at organization sometimes. I realize that I often overestimate how much I can get done, because I usually underestimate how long it will take me to do each item on my list. I realize that being perfectionist and completely hard on myself IS mostly in my head, and that I am a hard worker, fairly intelligent, and not lazy (most of the time). I am persistent, and I have never completely given up on myself, even if I often want to.

But having just had my 54th birthday, I am a little depressed with myself, and a whole lot frustrated. I am fighting the same battles, struggling with the VERY SAME weaknesses and frailties that I have been battling my whole adult life. I recently went back and read some journal entries from the last two or three years, and I am a broken record. I have been whining about the same things, and repeating the same failing patterns for so many years. I just can't seem to make lasting changes within my head (leading to better habits of behavior).

So.......what now? Where do I go from here? How can I make these changes I want to make? How can I maintain focus and self-control long enough to create better habits for myself? Sigh....maybe I can Google it.

Happy New Year (with an emphasis on HAPPY)

Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I get so focused on the minute little details of life that I totally lose sight of the big picture. I become so focused inwardly that I don't look OUT. I forget to pray, I forget to focus on the Lord, I forget to be thankful, and then I become really depressed and stressed. Such a seemingly simple thing as counting my blessings has such a huge impact on my life. It makes all the frustrations and irritations totally worth it. It reminds me why I keep plugging along with my life, even when I'm so tired. It helps me to keep trying to mature and grow as a Christian, as an individual. It makes me want to keep trying to find the time to create, to express my inner spirit. Gratitude to God for my life and everything in it (especially for the glorious life to come) makes this life magical and happy and I have to stay focused on THAT.

With that in mind, I will work on my goals for 2013 (which, for those of you who know me, are usually comprehensive and abundant). I will try to be very specific and more narrow in scope this year. I really want to accomplish a change in habits more than anything, which should serve me the rest of my life if I can make them stick this year. Please keep me in your prayers as I work on my list! I will post after I solidify my resolutions.