Retail Manners #7

When you have your children with you, use it as a training tool...and the younger, the better. Oh. My. Goodness. What people let their kids do in (and to) a store is unbelievable.....almost. I've seen so much of it now, I'm hardly surprised anymore. Disgusted, maybe....embarrassed for the parent(s), often....but not surprised. I understand that many people nowadays were raised poorly, so they don't know any better. They treat their children, and retail establishments, the way they were trained themselves. It really makes me kind of sad sometimes, but I'll admit it, usually I just feel frustrated and irritated. They just don't control their kids. People let their kids ride along standing up in the cart (dangerous of course), they let their kid stretch out on the "shelf" under the cart (soooooooo dangerous....and STUPID), they let their kids play with stuff, all kinds of stuff, and just leave it on the floor. They don't make their kids help, they give in on a treat or toy after threatening (over and over) to nix the treat/toy if they don't behave....and they don't behave and still get the treat. Dumb. But it's the teenagers that get to me. I have actually seen a mother pushing a cart with a teenage girl sitting in it playing with a phone while mom shops, and of course she's full grown, so mom has to try to fit the groceries around her or in the little basket up front where your purse goes. Honestly, I feel like yelling at the kid, "Get out of that cart, and stop making it harder for your mother, you lazy little twit!" Sigh. No, I never say those things (I really don't want to get fired), and I have been trying harder to think loving thoughts toward people. Maybe she's mentally challenged, maybe she has a sprained ankle, maybe she's super-tired from studying all night for her SAT's, maybe she's got bad cramps...maybe. And I've also seen a mother buying groceries for a whole family, and two or three big kids are just standing there while she loads the bags back into the basket all by herself.

Now, there's another side to that coin, where I feel bad for the kid(s). We have a woman who comes in regularly with her three small, usually dirty, children (and she's pregnant with #4), and as soon as I hear her loud voice, I know exactly who it is. She doesn't seem like a mean person, she just has no clue how to be an effective parent and make her children mind, so she yells.....and yells. Poor kids. Many parents understand not to yell at, embarrass, or belittle their kids in public, but there are those low-class people who just don't get it (if only they could see and hear themselves on tape!!!). Sometimes, it just breaks my heart for the kid.

Other parents (usually moms), are in too big of a hurry to let their little ones help....help put the items on the belt, help put the bags in the cart. Come on, mom, let them help. They want to please you so much, and honestly, they'll be much more likely to do it later when you really want them to, if you let them do it now. It doesn't slow you down that much, or wreck your precious obsessive, control-freak system for how your grocery bags go back in the cart. You can teach so many small but important lessons to your children out in public settings, not to mention just setting that great example of good manners and gracious behavior. Take the opportunity! When I see a child (younger than teen, I try not to be condescending to them....they're so touchy) being helpful, sometimes without even being prompted, I make sure I tell them what a good helper they are. Sometimes they just beam that someone noticed their efforts (and sometimes mom comes out of her intense "shopping mode" to notice something she hadn't....).

Kids are great, and they absorb everything like a sponge. Make sure what they're soaking up is NICE. Teach them to talk politely to people and look them in the eye, teach them to leave the merchandise alone, that it's NOT theirs until you buy it, teach them to look for opportunities to be helpful to mom and dad AND others (teach them that the carts are NOT toys or their personal transportation....HA!). Public places are a great classroom, if you are always looking to teach...